Aoi House
by LovingTheOgre
Summary: After being kicked out of their dorm they find a flyer with info on a place to go. Fast internet, cheap rent, anime 24 7...there is only one problem with this. Now in a seemingly weird harem of Yaoi loving girls how will Shika and Chouji survive Aoi House


THE AOI HOUSE

**Disclaimer and Authors Note**:

This fic was originally written for another ANIME but that got no reviews so my cousin decided to let me have a go at it and change a few things here and there to fit with the characters. Yeah I know, I know Aoi House and Naruto?  
Yeah, well, I figured it would work out-though my friend Sarah read over it and laughed about how much the characters from Aoi and Naruto fit, she thought it was quite amusing with the Maria-Hinata thing…anyway, here it is, the one shot.

IMPORTANT: **Alternate Universe…**obviously.

**Chapter 1 On the street!**

After finding themselves thrown out of their dorms, Shikamaru an Chouji wandered about with their clothes stuffed into their duffle bags while the rest of their belongings were boxed up in Shikamaru's jeep. The taller of the two turned his dark eyes on the shorter boy, whom just shifted the small box in his hand while the other hand fixed his glasses, still having not found his contact lenses.

"Well Chouji, thanks to your toupee humping hamster we've been thrown out of our dorm." Shikamaru said tugging on his brown jacket. "Now what are we gonna do?"

"I could call my mom."

"And say what? _'Hey mommy it's Chouji-poo! I got myself and Shika-Chan kicked out of our dorm because Echiboo couldn't stop humping random objects such as the deans toupee so I was wondering if we could possibly live in your basement until graduation?_' Yeah your mother would really go for that!"

Chouji scratched his head.

"Well at least we would know that she would let us stay there…and she wouldn't put us in the basement."

"No, your _loveable_ grandfather would suggest it…at least where I'm concerned, I swear that bald old man has got it in for me."

"Well no one told you to ask him about his chemotherapy…you know the treatment he **wasn't** having."

Shikamaru sighed.

"It was just a joke…I mean he's all bald and shriveled looking. It was too easy to pass up a joke like that, besides that was what, five years ago? You'd think he'd get over it, he shouldn't be so troublesome."

Chouji shrugged.

"Whatever…hey!"

"Hey what?"

"We could always live here."

Chouji produced a flyer with a detailed drawing of a girl in a school uniform. The letters **AOI HOUSE** in bold and the description of what the place entailed.

"Free high speed internet…affordable room and board…pets allowed…anime 24/7-where did you find this?"

"Bulletin Board out front."

"Troublesome..." Shikamaru then turned on his heels, hands in pockets while Chouji followed. "Aw well, might as well check this A-Hoy joint out-better then calling your mother and asking for a place to crash don't you think _Chouji-poo_?"

"Chouji-poo! Damn it! My mom uses it **ONCE** and you never let it die!"

"Die? Never!"

Now here is the start of our story where the Hero's meet Damsels and **aw** who the hell am I kidding? The Hero's are adorably naïve that the Damsels are vicious **anime** loving slave drivers…now you might be wondering what I mean by that…well just to give you a hint-Shikamaru and Chouji failed to read the flyer closely...if they would have they'd have noticed the barely there **Y** in front of _A_-_O_-_I_ (what's that spell fan girls?) that would have warned them, but then there would be no story.

* * *

**Chapter 2 Meet the Aoi House!!**

"Say Chouji did the place happen to have a description?"

"No."

Shikamaru looked up at the old building. The walls seemed cracked, the words **AOI HOUSE** written above the door.

"Found it."

"I don't think anyone's home Shikamaru." Chouji said knocking on the window. Shikamaru put his ear to the wall.

"Well I hear music so someone's gotta be home." He tried the knob on the door and swung it opened with annoyance. "Should checked the door…first?"

Five girls sat before them in skimpy P.J's. A girl with long brown hair in buns, and deep brown eyes seemed to be wearing a tank and panties while another girl wore purple shorts and a t-shirt, with blond long hair. She hung upside down on the couch with pocky hanging in her mouth her blue eyes fixed on the boys.

The other two girls seemed miffed that their show, Gravitation the boys would later learn, was being interrupted. The girl with thick black hair closest to the TV wore a bored gloomy expression with music note earrings in her ears while the other girl with her blonde sandy hair held up in four pig tails shown fire in her dark blue eyes.

All beautiful and yet, Shikamaru couldn't be sure at the time, just a bit evil.

"Hey Shika…are we in heaven? Love Hina possib-"

Someone had interrupted the boy as they had bumped into him from behind.

"Pardon me!"

Now Chouji wasn't too upset, after all he had fallen into the lap of the pretty angry golden haired girl with pig tails whom upon his face falling into here lap punch him away with a "**Yeeah**!" while the blonde girl with pocky and wearing an abundance of purple, squealed with joy. He then fell into the cleavage of the brown eyed, bun haired girl.

"A-are you angel?"

"Me? Well I have been known to cos-play as one from time to time." She smiled down at him. "But sorry hot stuff gotta preheat the oven before we get to the kinky stuff!" She pushed him off her.

"Nighty Night Pervo." The girl with black hair and gloomy disposition said knocking him out cold with a frying pan from know where with the name ChiChi written in bright yellow letters on the handle.

"Chouji!" Shikamaru ran forward towards his knocked out friend. "Good grief! Was that really necessary?"

The Music note girl gripped the ChiChi frying pan tightly in her hands addressing him.

"You've got about 5 seconds to explain yourself before you get the same treatment."

"Gak!"

"Oh I'm so **SORRY**! I was l-looking for the Anime club! Orochimaru told me that this is where I would find it!"

"Oh, Hinata" The girl with the frying pan lowered it and almost smiled. "I'm Kin Tsuchi, we spoke on myspace." She began to talk to Hinata, Shikamaru and Chouji forgotten.

"_Phew_!"

* * *

"Ok, hold on! What the **hell** is this? I asked for favorite anime couple and you guys put down Vegeta and Bulma?" The girl with pig tails, now known as Temari Sabaku, said before turning to Hinata. "And Hinata…Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler is **so** two years ago." 

Chouji poked Shikamaru softly with his elbow.

"Hey is that the girl who bumped into me?"

"Yeah."

"Her boobs are huge."

Hinata blushed, tugging at her blue pony tail slightly.

Kin slammed a few papers onto the table in front of the boys with a smirk, finally something other then bored, she thought.

"We'll need you to sign these real quick and then you can get moved in."

"You mean we're in?"

"Yup. Last two rooms on the right."

And without even reading over the papers they signed away and hurried out the jeep for their belongings.

"Kin Tsuchi?"

"Yes Temari Sabaku?"

"Did you just invite them to live here without the **PRESIDENTS** permission?"

Kin shrugged.

"Hey it was boring here, don't you think it would at least be interesting with two guys in the mix of all the mayhem that our little Ino Yamanaka will create? Besides, didn't the board start ridding your ass about the seven bodies to the dorm house thing?"

The brown eyed girl, Tenten Kim, nodded in agreement appearing from the living room.

"Yeah Kin's right and I am not about to loose this fantastic rent on account of your blubbering…it's no skin off your back since your loaded, a senators daughter after all."

"So what if we need seven bodies…we'll find others."

Suddenly Ino-after too much sugar-whom had been _'hiding'_ under the table, stood slowly up holding a baseball bat. "If it's a bodies yer a wantin' **Mua Haw Haw Haw Ha**!"

"D-damn it Ino put the deadly blunt object down! No ones dying!"

"Aw!"

Temari rubbed her temples.

"Well whatever! They just better be as gay as all get out!"

"Glad you see things our way." Kin sighed, placing a cigarette in her mouth.

"Kin Tsuchi don't you dare!"

Kin sighed again.

"Oops forgot…sorry."

Hinata, forgotten, tilted her head in question slightly.

"Why do I see that as a running gag?"

* * *

"Damn Chouji this is what, the ninth trip? You've got too much crap."

Chouji smirked, going through a few things before heaving up the last box.

"Yeah well be glad there wont be ten, hey you seen my chips?"

"Already set in the new room."

"Ah. Hey Shikamaru have you seen Echiboo?"

"No why?"

"Well, it seems that our furry little friend isn't in his cage…"

"TROUBLESOME!"

And the boys went running to find the humping little hamster devil. When they finally caught up to the little hamster he was fast asleep on Chouji's new bed with…girls underwear…

"Damn it Chouji cant you train it not to do this kinda thing…damn it, where'd he find all these?"

"Everything all right in there?" The heard Kin's ask from the other side of the locked door.

"Just peachy!" Shikamaru then turned and whispered to Chouji. "C'mon hide these will ya?"

"Oh someone's getting kinky…" Ino said with a mischievous grin. Hinata smirked.

"Yeah? We genuinely like to tape this sort of thing."

"Oh my!"

"Hey didn't you read the no locked door rule?" Temari shouted although the blush on her face was an indication that she was far from angry. "If you don't open the door this instant-"

Tenten was formulating a plan on how to get the door opened.

"Crap!" Shikamaru flung the last bit of underwear towards Chouji's desk. "It's opened!"

The door swung opened with five blushing girls with cameras at the doorway staring, disappointedly at the two boys. Shikamaru at the computer and Chouji sitting on the floor reading Manga.

"Hey ladies. All moved in."

Ino pouted.

"Aw missed the goodies."

Tenten smiled at Chouji.

"Gotta learn how to prolong the moment."

"M-moment?"

"Yeah."

Ino then jumped on Shikamaru, glomping him to extreme.

"Yeah I wanna see this one in action!"

"Action? You mean like exercising? I do that at eleven if you're interested in watching."

"Spoken like a true **seme**. I'm Tenten Kim by the way."

Temari rolled her eyes, obviously disappointed from not witnessing what she thought was, _private kinky time_, with the guys.

"You probably know the others now…just next time, don't even dream of locking your bedroom, got that maggots. The girl in the doorway with the emo makeup and music note fetish is Kin and the glomper at your side is Ino Yamanaka."

Shikamaru looked down at Ino.

"Hi."

"Can I watch ya shower?" She asked.

"Now now Ino lets not rush things!" Tenten said laughing at a blushing Shikamaru.

"Well the names Shikamaru Nara and this guy right here is Chouji Akimichi." Shikamaru said blushing still. Chouji just nodded, embarrassed.

"H-hi."

"And let us not forget, we have another new roommate, Hinata Hyuuga."

Hinata blushed, smiling at her new roommates. However something got her attention and before she could say anything she squealed in fan girl fashion **(Just imagine seeing the ultimate bishonen with his shirt off…could be any bishie of your choice…the sound that you probably just made? It's like that)**

And lo and behold her eyes landed on the bookshelf of the boys room, filled ridiculously to the rim with **MANGA** and not just any manga oh no…not just Shonen but **SHOUJO** as well as expensive, hasn't been translated into English **doujinshi**.

"Oh my God Fruits Basket!"

Tenten **fangirled** as well.

"Tsubasa Chronicle and CCS? All of FY? I must borrow these!"

Ino squealed.

"They're Shoujo Manga Gods…we must worship them!"

Tenten hugged a volume of CCS tightly.

"Temari doth thou not see this plentiful bounty?"

"Eh…ok…"

While fishing through more of Chouji's manga, Shikamaru owned a plentiful bounty of Inuyasha DVD's along with the entirety of Dragon Ball Z plus almost all of Miyazaki's films, Ino noticed a hamster watching with big eyes in a rather large cage on the dresser.

"Oh, who this?" She peered at him smiling.

"Oh that's Echiboo."

"Aw look he's a Panty Hamster!" Ino pointed to the red thong the hamster was currently chewing on.

"AH! That's my thong!" Temari shouted ripping the cage opened the cage and commenced to play tug of war with the hamster while Ino sang Panty hamster.

"Uh what's a panty hamster?" Shikamaru asked. Ino smirked and whispered in his ear.

"Huh?" Was all Chouji could manage before Tenten smiled devilishly.

"Google it tiger."

Temari, now holding a pair of chewed undergarments, we bid thee well Victoria Secrets brand Thong, while holding pure fire it seemed in her eyes.

"Ok, which one of you stole my thong?"

Shikamaru and Chouji simultaneously pointed to the now free from his cage hamster.

"It was him!"

"Ch, blame it on the Hamster? Alright girls search the place." Temari ordered and the girls began to look through everything.

Ino began to laugh, pulling something out of the closet and holding it in the air.

"**PANTIES**!"

"**AHA**! So you're gay panty thieves huh?" Temari pointed.

"**WHAT**? Who said anything about being **GAY**? I'm not gay, Chouji aint gay nobody's **GAY**!"

Temari smirked.

"A likely story. Why would you join **Y**_AOI__HOUSE_ if you weren't gay?"

"What did you say?" A flabbergasted Chouji asked, turning purple while Shikamaru tanned skin turned milky white with shock. Temari tried to speak again when Kin's hand slapped over it stopping the YAOI HOUSE **(finally at this point of the fic)** from speaking further.

"Ah she meant **AOI HOUSE**…that's our name since the **Y** fell off from above the door last week."

Chouji stuttered.

"Y-Yaoi House?"

Shikamaru looked close to fainting until one major thought crossed his mind.

"You girls are into **GUYS** doing **IT** with other **GUYS**?"

Hinata, silent until then finally spoke.

"You didn't know?"

"Know? How the hell were we supposed to know? That flyer didn't say nothing about **YAOI**!" Shikamaru shouted nearly blowing a fuse. "Oh man…this is just to weird."

"The flyer didn't? **INO**!"

"Hey don't get mad at me I just typed it like ya wanted Temari."

"Oh really?" The senators daughter said her eyes flaming hot. "What about the part that said Girls and **GAY****GUYS** only?"

"Aw well no use crying over spilled milk." Kin said bored.

"Yeah and I already claimed this guy as **MINE**" Ino jumped Shikamaru as Tenten winked at Chouji. Hinata smiled feeling a little left out.

Temari on the other hand just scowled.

"Well if you weren't gay before…you will be now."

* * *

"**AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"**

CD cases littered the floor, the TV blared with masculine cooing and purring, two boys were strapped to chairs, devices on their eyes preventing them from closing said eyes as they stared at the YAOI.

"Please no more!" Chouji shouted.

"Stop it please!"

Temari, laid out in leather fetish gear and whip, smirked at the prisoners.

"Nope. We wont shut it off until you beg for more.

"We beg! We beg!"

"Aw but the nights still young and we haven't even hit the good stuff, Ino bring out the **PICKER**!"

Ino brought out a strangely folded piece of paper. She went to Mai.

"Pick a color."

"Blue."

"**B-L-U-E**! Hinata pick a number!"

"S-six?"

"one two three four five six! Now you **YAOI SLAVE**!"

"Um…" Shikamaru stared terrified. "F-four?"

Ino unfolded a folded side then showed it to Temari whom cackled evilly.

"Alright **Boku No Sexual Harassment** it is then!"

The guys shrieked in horror.

"**NO**!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**TO BE CONTINUED…maybe…sometime…probably…yeah**

Review please and I might just work fast to add **Oniisan! **I wonder what to do with this…it might stay a one shot but I really want to add **Oniisan** to it…also I might add more unfortunate souls to the Aoi House or maybe just throw in the Uri house early…maybe. 

Ino's OOC because she's the Morgan character-only to clash with Temari where it comes to Shika…you know like Elle crashing with Morgan because of Alex. In this story I put that it was due to sugar high.  
Will I add Sakura if I continue? Yeah, sure, as a new member-will the other guys make an appearance? Yes, Sasuke defiantly will-as the…well I aint tellin' you just yet. Is Orochimaru the gay cross dresser? Yes he is the Carlo of this story. Who will **Oniisan** be? Oh wouldn't you like to know…I'd really like to know too?

Well I hope you review so that I can continue…originally my cousin wrote this, I changed it some and from here on out, if I have to reason too, enough reviews, I'll make it funny…like Father Of The Bride humor only without Hiashi and Lonely In Gorgeous funny without the squabbling dramatics.

Review and no flames please!


End file.
